29 lines to make you smile

Blut Wump · 07-05-2008, 08:53 AM

1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. I thought I was God and she didn't agree.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

anabolic24/7 · 07-05-2008, 09:52 AM

Start that bumper sticker biz BW!

solidspine · 07-05-2008, 12:35 PM

Quote:

29 lines to make you smile

I thought this was a drug post?

JoeD · 07-05-2008, 12:44 PM

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

aaaaaaaaahahahahhahahahahhhahahah!!!!!!!!!!! That is so true and same with every art degree. I can't count how many friends of mine have some sort of art degree and aren't making much over 12 /hr.

WonderWoman · 07-05-2008, 12:49 PM

BLUT..... where you been all my life, lol..

that was tres hiliarious - I like #1

Hidngod · 07-05-2008, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by solidspine

I thought this was a drug post?

I hate tpo say it, but I thought it was gonna be a coke thread, LOL.

SBT · 07-05-2008, 01:46 PM

Those were some funny ones!

Ulter · 07-05-2008, 03:42 PM

I agree with JoeD, 19 made me laugh out loud.

Immortalis · 07-05-2008, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blut Wump

...
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
...

beautiful

nychris · 07-05-2008, 05:02 PM

lol, I've used some of those in email signatures in the past

anabolic24/7 · 07-05-2008, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by solidspine

I thought this was a drug post?

Speaking of lines. Did you hear about the blonde they caught snorting Splenda?
She thought it was diet coke.

WonderWoman · 07-05-2008, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anabolic24/7

Speaking of lines. Did you hear about the blonde they caught snorting Splenda?
She thought it was diet coke.

lol haha

bgriff · 07-06-2008, 01:25 AM

I love #23

I resemble #'s 1,2,4,6,8 and 10

07-05-2008, 08:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
Blut Wump The Venerable Wump Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: UK Posts: 6,586 Rep Power: 118457	29 lines to make you smile 1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. I thought I was God and she didn't agree. 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 12. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 18. Procrastinate Now! 19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 27. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

07-05-2008, 12:49 PM	#5 (permalink)
WonderWoman yokey yoke Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Jersey! Posts: 3,397 Rep Power: 278926	BLUT..... where you been all my life, lol.. that was tres hiliarious - I like #1 __________________ http://www.afboard.com/forum/album.php?albumid=27

07-05-2008, 01:46 PM	#7 (permalink)
SBT Kickin @$$ an takin names Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Figuring it out... Posts: 1,712 Rep Power: 113792	Those were some funny ones! __________________

07-05-2008, 03:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ulter Chairman of the board Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 26,398 Rep Power: 165416	I agree with JoeD, 19 made me laugh out loud. __________________ > . . When you register at www.theafstore.com make sure you register as an AF Board Member to get the discounted pricing.

07-06-2008, 01:25 AM	#13 (permalink)
bgriff SBT ADDICT Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 4,648 Rep Power: 126062	I love #23 I resemble #'s 1,2,4,6,8 and 10 __________________ GRRRRRRR . . .

07-05-2008, 09:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
anabolic24/7 Big Swole Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The South Posts: 1,448 Rep Power: 93321	Start that bumper sticker biz BW!

07-05-2008, 12:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
JoeD Retired Join Date: May 2008 Location: Philadelphia, PA Posts: 1,013 Rep Power: 0	19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? aaaaaaaaahahahahhahahahahhhahahah!!!!!!!!!!! That is so true and same with every art degree. I can't count how many friends of mine have some sort of art degree and aren't making much over 12 /hr.

07-05-2008, 05:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
nychris Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 511 Rep Power: 16390	lol, I've used some of those in email signatures in the past

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