How to talk to your child about gear?

[Temple]

Yes, you read that right and I never thought I would be in the position that I am. I have a son who will be 19 in a couple of months. He started going to the gym when he was 15, got serious about it at 16 which is about the time he decided to move to the big city to live with his dad. He didn't start packing on alot of size until the last year - he trains hard and eats clean (God knows I can no longer afford to feed him). Anyway, he recently switched from the foofoo gym that he was training at to a hardcore gym and I am pretty sure that at some point he will consider using gear. As a typical concerned mamma how would you address this? I am not opposed to him using if that is what he wants but I damn well want him to have good info. I thought about bringing him to the boards but I am not ready to discuss my own use with him yet and he would figure it out. How would you approach this??? It has made for an interesting relationship - our conversations are no longer "yup" "nope" and "dunno" rather "so what do you have to work tonight?", when he is home he makes sure he is around when I lift and uses it as a venue to be totally disrespectful to his mother "PUSH YOU PANSY ASS OLD WOMAN!!!" and it is really confusing to have your old woman friends openly lusting after your child "your son is HOT"!

	ASS Nelson Montana

[archive_FitnessChick]

Wow......thats something I never had to think about....

[tnheygirl]

Well first off I don't think a 19 year old should use any kind of steroid. Geesh many men don't aren't even finished growing at 19. Some actually grow a inch or more in height alone in their early 20's. But, you know the signs of AS use and I think if he decides to start using somthing you would notice. I think just sit down and tell him you don't advocate doing anything illegal and at 19 it may be a mistake to use steroids if they are offered or suggested at the gym for quick gains. But if he feels the need to use them tell him to please come talk to you first because you have a lot of knowledge on the subject from reasearching what it would take to improve your own way of life. And if he hasn't figured it out "A mother is going to give her child the most honest and caring answers to any question they may have" [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

[blueyedkowgrl]

wow, this is a tough subject. My kids are too small for me to have to worry about this big stuff yet. I just hope when the time comes i will be able to tell the truth. if you really believe he might be getting ready to use it, you might want to step in now before he does do it with improper information. I can only imagine that the thought of him knowing that you have used it before must be scary, but whats worse him knowing that you have the right information or him getting it from one of his dumb ass gym friends who have no idea what they are talking about? again this is only one ladies opinion and i really have no actual idea how i would tell my kids about it, but this is just one opinion.
the closest i have come to this is having to divulge my knowledge to my best friends little brother because i knew he was getting into this and i didn't want him to get hurt. but that is nowhere near a comparison to telling your kids.

	ASS Nelson Montana

[Trinity13]

Temple, I can only tell you what I did. My kids are 21, 19, & 17. The 21 and 17 year old live with me and before I even started my first cycle I told them what I was contemplating and shared the research I was doing with them. Neither of them is into weight training or exercising for that matter, so use is not really an issue with them. They both thought that it was kind of cool that I trusted them enough to discuss it with them. I told them that I hope than whenever they have to make a difficult or confusing decision they would trust me enough to come to me. Considering I was only 17 when I had my first they have been really good kids, no drugs, no alcohol, no smoking, no behavioral problems. I have been very fortunate.

My 19 year however, lives with his girlfriend. Anyway, I had not seen my 19 yr old son in about 7 months (we talk on the phone all the time) and when he saw me he was really impressed with the changes I had made. He's been going to the gym for over a year and wanted to know what I had done to get in such great shape in such a short period of time. I still have a ways to go but there was a definite change. I started off by telling him the changes I made to my diet, the training I was doing and finally told him that I had done a cycle and how I arrived to my decision.

Much to my surprise (he had always been extremely judgmental of everything that I do) [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img] he was somewhat surprised but said "Well, at least I know who I can talk to when I decide to do it." He confessed to me that his friends had been trying to get him to do a cycle because he is so skinny, so he can see the changes quicker, but he said that he knows he is still growing that if he saw that he was not making any changes then he would definitely think about using.

Since our initial conversation, he now calls all the time for training and dieting advice, not just to say hi. He has also asked questions relating to gear to which I give him honest answers. He has not used yet!! It has changed our relationship but has definitely brought us closer. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

It is kind of weird to have grown kids at the age of 39, but its also kind of nice. They can actually relate to you as a person not just as their MOM.

Anyway, that's just my personal experience.

Hope this helps.

You can not achieve what your mind can not concieve

[WarLobo]

We will be supplementing 2.5mg of anavar with the breast milk when our little girl arrives here shortly....

To be honest, I'm big pile of jelly donut goo about this whole being a dad thing and can't even think about how I'm going to bring up dating let alone gear..... Hell, I still have to learn how to put diapers on!!

LAte

Lobo

[Temple]

Thanks everyone! He is as responsible a kid as you will find at 19. He also tends to be more than just a little judgemental which is why I really don't want to talk about my use with him. I don't think we are looking at him jumping into this in the near future but considering that he has been training for several years what would be the age at which it would be safe for him to start? He has the diet and training down cold.
I think maybe just a general discussion about his new gym would lead nicely into a gear conversation as most of the people there obviously use from what he has told me.

[Unity66]

temple......when i was in highschool bout half the team used and they used brovel t-200 cause they were kids and thats what they were 'told' to use. if you dont educate him.......a 'friend' of his may and this 'friend' may not know shit as to the proper use of ergogenic aids.......

how bout this........complement his development next time you train with em and afterwards ask him.....'your not using steroids are you?'. look past his words and read his body language--im sure you know your son. im also sure you know what water retention and acne look like also [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

fact is.........most young kids use whats available and its usually some cheap testo from mexico. furthermore, many no nothing of clomid, nolva, proviron or any other ancilliary drugs. i think youll do fine temple. just be sure to remind him that he still may have another growth spurt and the potential impacts AAS have in this regard........

Unity66

[Temple]

I am sure that he is not using - I would see the signs and his gains have been what I think one would expect for a well fed natural. The one thing that bugs him is that he is 5'8" and is something that he holds me responsible for - go figure, but it would be something that would weigh very heavily in getting him to wait. I know there is no magic age but would like some feedback from some of you experienced guys on the age issue. He is not a competitive athlete just a very responsible dedicated kid who is into building muscle.

[Unity66]

he may hit a second growth spurt before 21-22.......i woulndt start sooner than that--just my .02..... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

Unity66

[Dax]

i would say to at least talk to him about it in general and tell him that he should do his research on it and keep building his foundation.. than when he gets older (early to mid 20's) than he can decide if he wants to take that route since than he will at least have the correct knowledge.. you might as well talk to him about though and advise him to wait awhile if hes considering it.. no one ever talked to me about drugs or anything.. so i just went ahead and did anything i could smoke, stick, or snort [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

*EyEHAtEGoD*

demonomania - my father was a wolf
-real players dont roll will 20" rims.. they roll with 20" guns-

[W6]

Be upfront and honest. Telling kids not to do something because it's illegal and/or bad for them is basically guaranteeing that they will do it.

My approach in the gym with young lifters is to get them to focus on proper training and diet. If he is still making gains, he doesn't need steroids. Even if his gains have slowed, it's probably because there is something wrong with his diet or training, not because he has hit his genetic limits. This is the point to get across. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

At the same time, give him the facts about steroids (good and bad), otherwise, it will be the local black marketer that provides him with the information and everything else.

[Tripp]

I am 6'4" 265 lbs at 23 y/o, I did my first cycle when I was 16, but I was already 5'11"at 160lbs then. I am happy with my height, if the guy is already 6' I don't think I would worry about the growth plate thing. I always told myself I either want to be 6'6" or 6' even. My feet are still growing I wear a size 15 now, I am just not sold on the growth plate thing if you are already 6'. Now if the guy is 5'8" I'd give it a couple years. Just explain the importance of learning how to use a doctor, for the sake of blood tests, these are very important. Also, explain to him that he needs to know the difference of use and abuse, it is okay to use gear if you can stay healthy while you are doing it. Tripp out.........

P.S. Don't be a hypocrite, my father smoked 4 packs a day before he died, and swore to me that steroids were the worst thing since cocaine.