Should I still love my pops?

bgriff · 03-28-2008, 04:54 PM

I know some of you are tired of hearing about it but everytime that I think that its done and over with he fucks up again. Ever since the last incident we have been getting along together good.

Tonight I logged in to my cell phone account because I know he had been calling that hoe again. But for some reason I couldnt pull up his number on my account. Then I look at my plan and it says that I only have a plan with 450 minutes. Hell I use more than that in a week. So I was way over in minutes. And I had the unlimited texts but it was gone and I text like a mofo so I owe a lot there like $60 bucks just in texts.

So then I knew that the old fucker took his phone off of MY plan and changed MY plan. Hes hiding something. He got his own plan. Guess he got smart after he saw that I have detailed billing. But Im handeling it a little different this time. Im not yelling Im not beating any ass. I didnt even say a word to him yet. I told my mom and then she told my brother and said that she was worried that there was going to be a fight. I laughed and said theres not going to be a fight. I dont care any more. If he wants to call her then fuck him. Shows who is more important. So mom said shes going to say something to him and so did my brother. Im just going to politely ask him not to change any of my personal shit again and that he needs to pay for any overaged that he caused. Hell its not like i have money flowing out of my ass with all of these legal fees.

So fuck it. As soon as taxes come in I have a debt to pay to a good bro and then Im using the rest of the money for security deposits or what ever else I need to do to get the fuck out of here. I have to deal with him at work for now but thats going to change. I am going to get very serious about finding something different. Away from him...

I told my mom and brother and sister in law that after I move I will not be around and after I find a new job I will never be around and neither will my kids. I told them that they are more than welcome to come see us and I will come see them if dad is around. But he is dead to me now...... Hes lucky that Im not putting him in the dirt right now. But its time for ME to be the bigger man and just walk away. Im walking away for good. I have no feelings and I am numb right now. My mom feels the same way that he is hiding something and can care less if he leaves or not. So this is the end.... No more family holidays if he is there... No more birthdays with him there. Right now I doubt that I would even go to his funeral if he were to die. Im sorry and I know what some of you will say but he has fucked me for the last time...

The guy I talked to about the cell phone account said that bassicaly my dad stole my identity by using my social and changing my personal account with out my permission. So I put a password on all of my accounts to keep it from happening again.

I just cant see how as a FATHER he can keep hurting me and going behind peoples backs and doing things to upset us. He does it to all of us. He opens my brothers mail too... Hes a control freak and I dont like to be controlled. I know me as a FATHER would NEVER.......NEVER do something like this to my kids. If I made my kids break down like I have done twice with my dad... Well it wouldnt happen more than once.... I would never do it again....

Ok Im done ranting now.

MR. BMJ · 03-28-2008, 05:04 PM

I'll let others comment on the identity theft part.

One thing brother.....

If you guys come face-to-face, and he starts jiving and yelling at you...please do this...

Just walk away and laugh. Get in your car and drive away and just think about the good things you have.

He may try to say things to piss you off more, but just turn around and run out and leave.

If you guys start arguing, think about BMJ and this thread....chuckle, and then just run out and get in your car and drive somewhere.

You will be a better father only if you continue to be able to spend time with your kids....don't get locked up any longer than you need to be.

Take it easy my friend

Oh, and the love part....yes you will, maybe not now, but later on you will.

BMJ

TrenAman · 03-28-2008, 05:34 PM

Sup Big-G, man let your father have your left overs, let him have his own cell, let him be who he is. SOunds like you are doing the right thing and worrying about you. Not everyone has a model father, there are a lot of pieces of shit, I see them everyday driving down the road and I want to kill them all, but you just cannot do it. Just like yo cannot kill him. Let him have the chick you probably fucked out anyway, lots of women out there bro, time to close to the book on this chapter and start reading what your next chapter is going to be about, hopefully it does not include that ahole and that fucked out whore. SOrry for the French peeps but I have to call this one how I see it.

Few years down the road you never know what your father may do, he may extend an olive brach sometime down the road and you guys can patch things up. Until then, worry about you and your kids, fuck everyone else.

bgriff · 03-28-2008, 05:35 PM

Nahhh He wont get in my face. He knows better. Im not going to let it get to me this time. Im just going to focus on getting on with my life... Putting the legal stuff behind me and getting the phuk outta here. What ever happens with my dad happens I dont really care right now. He is nothing more than a co-worker to me right now. And hopefully that wont be much longer.

jenscats5 · 03-28-2008, 05:38 PM

I didn't read all that....but the bottom line is, is that just because they are family - that doesn't mean you HAVE to like them or love them.....just because they are family, it doesn't make them good people.......family can be jerks & assholes & bad people to who think only of themselves, etc......

If family is toxic, then you have no obligation towards them.....

bgriff · 03-28-2008, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrenAman

Sup Big-G, man let your father have your left overs, let him have his own cell, let him be who he is. SOunds like you are doing the right thing and worrying about you. Not everyone has a model father, there are a lot of pieces of shit, I see them everyday driving down the road and I want to kill them all, but you just cannot do it. Just like yo cannot kill him. Let him have the chick you probably fucked out anyway, lots of women out there bro, time to close to the book on this chapter and start reading what your next chapter is going to be about, hopefully it does not include that ahole and that fucked out whore. SOrry for the French peeps but I have to call this one how I see it.

Few years down the road you never know what your father may do, he may extend an olive brach sometime down the road and you guys can patch things up. Until then, worry about you and your kids, fuck everyone else.

Hahaha yea man I turned that bitch out. If he is fuckin her I know hes not pleasing her. Shes gotta just be fuckin him for the money. She was in heaven every time I went down on her or had sex with her. and I know the old man cant compare to me in bed. BWHAHAH I even got her liking to get a finger in da butt and my old man is way too much of a punk to try that

And if hes going down on her I have one question. Hows my dick taste LOL

bgriff · 03-28-2008, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenscats5

I didn't read all that....but the bottom line is, is that just because they are family - that doesn't mean you HAVE to like them or love them.....just because they are family, it doesn't make them good people.......family can be jerks & assholes & bad people to who think only of themselves, etc......

If family is toxic, then you have no obligation towards them.....

Thats my view on it. Some people show loyalty to their family no matter what. But I think this is taking it way too far. Family is supposed to be the most sacret of things in my book... You should be there thick and thin for love and support.... Not to fuck your family every time you turn around. I want to do bad things... Trust me I do.... You guys know me... But Im going to change that right now.... He will get whats due when its time.... Karma is a biotch...

jenscats5 · 03-28-2008, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bgriff

Thats my view on it. Some people show loyalty to their family no matter what. But I think this is taking it way too far. Family is supposed to be the most sacret of things in my book... You should be there thick and thin for love and support.... Not to fuck your family every time you turn around. I want to do bad things... Trust me I do.... You guys know me... But Im going to change that right now.... He will get whats due when its time.... Karma is a biotch...

Thick and thin is one thing....but if the relationship is continuously one-sided & someone doesn't respect boundaries, then they aren't family....

Plain & simple - there are BAD people in this world...a lot of them & some of them could be related to YOU.....

bgriff · 03-28-2008, 06:03 PM

Its just so sad because he raised me better than that. I think or we think that he is going senile or in his midlife crisis... Hes loosing control of himself so he is trying to control everyone else. I dont get controlled....

solidspine · 03-28-2008, 06:04 PM

He is your dad, you have to do what ever to keep the peace, he is your dad.

solidspine · 03-28-2008, 06:05 PM

Maybe you should fire him?

bgriff · 03-28-2008, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by solidspine

He is your dad, you have to do what ever to keep the peace, he is your dad.

Bull shit. Sorry bro. But I just cant keep him in my heart that way if he cant keep me in his heart. Its like he has disowned me buy hurting me in many ways even though I have asked him not to. My feelings dont matter to him, Its all about him, So he can have him self and grow old alone... or with my stank hoe ex or who ever, He is tearing this family apart. Every one is fed up with his shit. Its not only the things he does to me but he treats mom like total shit. And treats my brother the same way,.

How can we still think of him as DAD when he keeps treating us like dogs that you can kick and will always come back.,

Its been this way for a long time pretty much as long as I can remember, And Im done. I have to be done. For my sake...For my kids sake. And for the sake of his life... I have to be done.

Hidngod · 03-28-2008, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by solidspine

He is your dad, you have to do what ever to keep the peace, he is your dad.

IN a normal world, that is trtue. But there are many things a parent should not do to their kids. When they do do those things, it behooves the kid to leave, for his own sanity, and for the safety of his progeny.

wags8 · 03-28-2008, 07:38 PM

Being the biological father doesn't earn you the title of DAD. You gotta earn it. Some of the best dads I know were not the biological fathers. That guy is not acting like a DAD. You do have to distance yourself as best you can from him. As far as possible both geographically and emotionally. It's hard not to love your dad but he's making it impossible. DADS don't intentionally cause pain to their sons. When I have to be a prick in the way of discipline, I hate it... but it's needed. My girls will never be faced with the hellish choices your dad has weaseled on you. Nobody deserves that shit but plenty of folks have had that hand dealt to them. This is when your mental and emotional strength have be as strong as the rest of you. You can do it.

bgriff · 03-28-2008, 07:55 PM

Im trying my hardest to be mentally strong and it feels good. Way better than being pissed off and trying to kill him. Im just sitting back enjoying my kids and laughing at his ass. I set his ass up to test him. I called mom earlier and told her to write down the wicked bitch of the wests phone number and leave it on her night stand where dad could see it. She put it in her drawer but left it kinda open where the paper fould be seen. I knew it was there... She knew it was there... But mysteriously its gone.... It was there an hour ago before dad got home... I heard him go in there and open a drawer and he walked out with a piece of paper. Actually a half sheet of paper. Thats what she wrote the number on. Then I heard him crumble up the paper and then I heard some rustling in the trash can like he wa shoving someting way down in it.... So I got up while he was in the can to see if the paper was gone.

And it is

I cant help but to laugh, He thinks Im a fucking moron. I set his ass up and he fell for it. Theres proof to me and my mother. He thinks im so stupid but if I wanted to I could hack into his cell phone account and see who hes called. But I wont.... I can even cancel his account if I want to and cause him all kinds of grief.... But I wont..... There are many mean shady things that I can do that arent physical....But I wont....

Im better than that

03-28-2008, 05:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
MR. BMJ EXECUTIVE MODERATOR Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 10,519 Rep Power: 477268	I'll let others comment on the identity theft part. One thing brother..... If you guys come face-to-face, and he starts jiving and yelling at you...please do this... Just walk away and laugh. Get in your car and drive away and just think about the good things you have. He may try to say things to piss you off more, but just turn around and run out and leave. If you guys start arguing, think about BMJ and this thread....chuckle, and then just run out and get in your car and drive somewhere. You will be a better father only if you continue to be able to spend time with your kids....don't get locked up any longer than you need to be. Take it easy my friend Oh, and the love part....yes you will, maybe not now, but later on you will. BMJ __________________ "No researcher has made a human bigger than a dumb-shit bodybuilder."---Dan Duchaine (12/18/97) BMJ...aka...."SPANKY"

03-28-2008, 05:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
TrenAman Healing to Suffer Again Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: C-Town Posts: 2,974 Rep Power: 196863	Sup Big-G, man let your father have your left overs, let him have his own cell, let him be who he is. SOunds like you are doing the right thing and worrying about you. Not everyone has a model father, there are a lot of pieces of shit, I see them everyday driving down the road and I want to kill them all, but you just cannot do it. Just like yo cannot kill him. Let him have the chick you probably fucked out anyway, lots of women out there bro, time to close to the book on this chapter and start reading what your next chapter is going to be about, hopefully it does not include that ahole and that fucked out whore. SOrry for the French peeps but I have to call this one how I see it. Few years down the road you never know what your father may do, he may extend an olive brach sometime down the road and you guys can patch things up. Until then, worry about you and your kids, fuck everyone else. __________________ alive to live, not to believe.

03-28-2008, 05:35 PM	#4 (permalink)
bgriff MAD SCIENTIST / LAB RAT Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 4,852 Rep Power: 181270	Nahhh He wont get in my face. He knows better. Im not going to let it get to me this time. Im just going to focus on getting on with my life... Putting the legal stuff behind me and getting the phuk outta here. What ever happens with my dad happens I dont really care right now. He is nothing more than a co-worker to me right now. And hopefully that wont be much longer. __________________ GRRRRRRR . . .

03-28-2008, 05:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
jenscats5 Some Phase of Irritated Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Propagating some felonious BS Posts: 3,990 Rep Power: 167160	I didn't read all that....but the bottom line is, is that just because they are family - that doesn't mean you HAVE to like them or love them.....just because they are family, it doesn't make them good people.......family can be jerks & assholes & bad people to who think only of themselves, etc...... If family is toxic, then you have no obligation towards them..... __________________ Peanut Butter is a RIGHT, not a privilege! To Cook is to Create, and to Create well is an act of integrity and faith. Chicken....tastes like candy if candy were a chicken.

03-28-2008, 06:03 PM	#9 (permalink)
bgriff MAD SCIENTIST / LAB RAT Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 4,852 Rep Power: 181270	Its just so sad because he raised me better than that. I think or we think that he is going senile or in his midlife crisis... Hes loosing control of himself so he is trying to control everyone else. I dont get controlled.... __________________ GRRRRRRR . . .

03-28-2008, 06:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
solidspine Retired Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 6,622 Rep Power: 0	He is your dad, you have to do what ever to keep the peace, he is your dad.

03-28-2008, 06:05 PM	#11 (permalink)
solidspine Retired Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 6,622 Rep Power: 0	Maybe you should fire him?

03-28-2008, 07:38 PM	#14 (permalink)
wags8 Gold Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: mid-Tennessee Posts: 1,870 Rep Power: 304735	Being the biological father doesn't earn you the title of DAD. You gotta earn it. Some of the best dads I know were not the biological fathers. That guy is not acting like a DAD. You do have to distance yourself as best you can from him. As far as possible both geographically and emotionally. It's hard not to love your dad but he's making it impossible. DADS don't intentionally cause pain to their sons. When I have to be a prick in the way of discipline, I hate it... but it's needed. My girls will never be faced with the hellish choices your dad has weaseled on you. Nobody deserves that shit but plenty of folks have had that hand dealt to them. This is when your mental and emotional strength have be as strong as the rest of you. You can do it.