I think I wasted 3 years

[xtinct]

I was looking at some old pictures and when I compared them to how I look now I feel like I wasted my last 3 years of training. From 2003-2004 I was doing well but I am not happy with what happened since then. I am leaner now and on many lifts I am stronger than I was back then but when I look at my back I think I was doing better 3 years ago. These pictures want to make me stop dieting today and start putting some of that lost size back on.

I am using back pictures for this comparison because they are the easiest to compare.

This is after about 12 months of serious training (02/2003):

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/021903.jpg

Ten months later that turned into this (12/2003):

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/121703.jpg

Another four months later this (04/2004):

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/041604_2.jpg

And later that same year, these two (Summer/Fall 2004):

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/then.jpg
http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/092704.jpg

But three years later that somehow turned into this:

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/120107_2.jpg


I am not really happy with that. Back in 2004 I never had abs but I am starting to think that having good abs is not worth losing that much size.

[bigdamray]

You just look more refined now, better quality. We all go through phases of wanting to be bigger and wanting to be leaner. You look great man, don't be so hard on yourself!!

[TrenAman]

You just look more refined now, better quality. We all go through phases of wanting to be bigger and wanting to be leaner. You look great man, don't be so hard on yourself!!

+1

[Tweak]

Yah, I was looking at those and thinking you looked the best in the last picture vs the ones above it.

+1 here too

[trivial]

The last picture is the best IMO. Nice and hard, and still huge as hell.

[bluetwistedsteel]

It's just the way it is. You get leaner and you feel small and you get bigger and you feel fat. Objectively I would say you look better now. Muscle looks more mature and the density is better. In the earlier pictures you were just bigger - not better. Trust me bro, if you went back to what you looked like in your earlier pics you'd be complaining that you looked soft and you'd want to look like you do now. It's a sick sport - lol

[xtinct]

Thanks for the feedback. That makes me feel a little better. But I am definitely going to change a few things. First, I am going to start doing deadlifts again. There is just no substitute for that when it comes to thickness. And I am also going to start training my back heavy again. I tried lighter weights for a while and while it's great to feel the muscle working and getting a great pump, it just doesn't work as well for me as doing heavy weight for 4-6 reps.

[*Bunny*]

Ill first say that I think you look great, lean and shredded and full and thick.

Abs ARE overrated but hey, we all want them at one point or another, and when we lose them, we want them back. Been there about 3 x with bulk & cuts... I never NOT lose my abs. (sorry for the double negatives you grammar people)

Anyway, (if you have no injuries) I say YES def start lifting heavy and hitting the deads for one. I assume you are as lean as you are b/c you have a pretty stellar diet so keep the diet and adjust the training, you may just add more size and KEEP the abs. :)

I def think more size is possible with keeping an outline of those abs in that avi, for sure. If they start to fade too much it's obvious you know how to change that. Give it a go.

How are your legs compared to your upper body?

[ricorico]

I was looking at some old pictures and when I compared them to how I look now I feel like I wasted my last 3 years of training. From 2003-2004 I was doing well but I am not happy with what happened since then. I am leaner now and on many lifts I am stronger than I was back then but when I look at my back I think I was doing better 3 years ago. These pictures want to make me stop dieting today and start putting some of that lost size back on.

I am using back pictures for this comparison because they are the easiest to compare.

This is after about 12 months of serious training (02/2003):

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/021903.jpg

Ten months later that turned into this (12/2003):

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/121703.jpg

Another four months later this (04/2004):

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/041604_2.jpg

And later that same year, these two (Summer/Fall 2004):

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/then.jpg
http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/092704.jpg

But three years later that somehow turned into this:

http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m245/erikmoje/120107_2.jpg


I am not really happy with that. Back in 2004 I never had abs but I am starting to think that having good abs is not worth losing that much size.

i think your nutz....current pics show improvment in my opinion.. look great. Is that kashi cinnamon shredded wheat on top of the fridge?

[BIGBUCK$]

lookin good bro

[sassy69]

It sounds like there are many different ways to measure "better" - i.e. size, strength, energy, bodyfat level... you are measuring "better" in terms of size by comparing pictures of where you are now vs where you were in 2004. But you also said you were stronger now than you were then.

I think as long as you don't just cancel your gym membership & become a life member of the Couch Potato Club, you never "waste" time. You are always changing, but there are several metrics by which to judge "progress". I think its important to keep them all in mind, because unless you have optimized your training & diet to maximize a SPECIFIC metric, then you can't really make yourself feel bad if one of the metrics says "better" and another doesn't, because they are apples & oranges.

The good news is that you can always change what you are doing to achieve the goal that you want to measure by. But your body is always changing, and sometimes you have to take a drop in one metric to take a gain in another. But you never really "waste" anything...

[xtinct]

Bunny: my legs are pretty good...when I actually train them. The last couple of week I always had to skip one of my 5 workout days and somehow that always turned to be leg day. But I'm getting back to it soon.

ricorico: I think you're right about the cereal. LOL. Someone else bought it and left the box there.

sassy69: You make a good point. If I use the "I like what I see in the mirror" metric, I am pretty happy right now. And the last time I put on some weight I was still reasonable lean even as I was getting close to 250. In the past I started looking kinda chubby at that weight. So I guess overall I made progress. I t just really messes with my head when I drop 25 pounds and my look totally changes.

[BigDofBA]

Your back is fine imo. A lot of people would kill to have that kind of back. I know I would.

[Hidngod]

I think you look great, now. Your shoulders and back are plain amazing.

[wags8]

If it were me... I'd call it three of the best years of my life. lol

[bigsix]

I agree that the now is better. jmo

[Mols]

:cloud9: :poser: :hi5: :nod:

[warmpain]

Man you are just in fantastic shape. That last pick is museum quality muscle,as I like to say.

[IliekFude]

I was looking at some old pictures and when I compared them to how I look now I feel like I wasted my last 3 years of training. From 2003-2004 I was doing well but I am not happy with what happened since then. I am leaner now and on many lifts I am stronger than I was back then but when I look at my back I think I was doing better 3 years ago. These pictures want to make me stop dieting today and start putting some of that lost size back on.
......
I am not really happy with that. Back in 2004 I never had abs but I am starting to think that having good abs is not worth losing that much size.
It all depends on yr goals man, sure ya lost some size and probably some strength along with it but what are yr goals? Did ya need that strength or are you bb'ing for looks? If yr after looks then i think you used the last 3 years wisely and obviously musta learned alot about dieting and maintaining/losing mass etc. so chalk it up as a learning experience man.

[DjEclipse]

Post some front comparisons. You look bigger in the old pics, but much more defined in the current pics.

As far as abs go, chicks love abs.

[booey]

From a BB point of view, the later picture is better for sure. Add some deadlifts right away, you'll get back the thickness you lost. But overall, much better.

[HULK1550]

You just look more refined now, better quality. We all go through phases of wanting to be bigger and wanting to be leaner. You look great man, don't be so hard on yourself!!

Thats almost exactly what i was going to say. but i was going to add that if that first pic was after only one year of training then you have some great genes and please take advantage of them.....most cant look like that after 10 years.

[MR. BMJ]

Your shoulders are stratoshperic man....you look great. I think adding the deads back in for a few weeks will give ya what you are looking for.

You are large and in charge my friend:)

Awesome job!

BMJ
:bmj:

[strawberryriddick]

You just look more refined now, better quality. We all go through phases of wanting to be bigger and wanting to be leaner. You look great man, don't be so hard on yourself!!
Yes, agreed!!

I was scrolling through your pics, and I saw the "But three years later that somehow turned into this" and expected some kind of flabby, bloated piece of crap. Instead, I was like :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: when I saw your back. Holy cow, man, you should NOT be ashamed of that...not in the least!!!!

[saiyanjin]

looking stacked bro !! :D

[ashley2212]

:eek3:

Amazing.

[Caligula]

I like the last pic best too. Funny how our minds can play tricks on us.

[dubdubs]

I know some pretty big guys, but you are by far the biggest one I have seen and you look great.

No waste in here at all....

[mnk]

Yeah I agree with WW, but more importantly DAMN on the avatar WW!

[Immortalis]

I think you look righteous bro - in a non homocentric sorta way

[Nick]

You are clearly a lot denser right now. And considering how close apart all those pics are... you can add the extra size you are looking for in a matter of months.

[jagerbombme]

lookn good in all of them. i got more fat to lose before my muscles will show like that.

[jagerbombme]

It's just the way it is. You get leaner and you feel small and you get bigger and you feel fat. Objectively I would say you look better now. Muscle looks more mature and the density is better. In the earlier pictures you were just bigger - not better. Trust me bro, if you went back to what you looked like in your earlier pics you'd be complaining that you looked soft and you'd want to look like you do now. It's a sick sport - lol

couldn't be said better. i been going through this viscious cycle of trying to lose fat and then feeling small and then start eating up. within a week my arms lose some water, and i think im losing muscle and i look better the other way so i start going the other way.

i'm dedicated now however. im on nonstop weightloss program until further notice :)

last pic is best too man. nice work

[ChuckLee]

You still have enough size to be proud of yaself...I wish I had that size

[solidspine]

You would be one of the biggest guys with the best definition at my gym, and we have some serious lifters,

And your abs in the avatar, could not look better.


Your back is fricken scary, it is awesome.

[ChuckLee]

What about your cyclke experience? If you don't mind me asking...

[xtinct]

What about your cyclke experience? If you don't mind me asking...

I tried two or three cycles when I first started 7 years ago but it always took me a very long time to get back to normal after a cycle and the sides from starting and stopping a cycle were always much worse than anything during the cycle that I decided to stay on all the time. That's what I have been doing for the last 6 years. I tried all different combinations but test/tren is just about perfect for me and that's what I run 95% of the time. Dose depends on how much money I have to spend on it at the time but usually I try to keep my test at minimum at 750-1000mg WK and tren no lower than 350mg WK.

[ChuckLee]

I tried two or three cycles when I first started 7 years ago but it always took me a very long time to get back to normal after a cycle and the sides from starting and stopping a cycle were always much worse than anything during the cycle that I decided to stay on all the time. That's what I have been doing for the last 6 years. I tried all different combinations but test/tren is just about perfect for me and that's what I run 95% of the time. Dose depends on how much money I have to spend on it at the time but usually I try to keep my test at minimum at 750-1000mg WK and tren no lower than 350mg WK.

Wow 6 years on, sounds asskickin'...your body is the proof that staying on works.
Great job, really.

[PolfaJelfa]

Pretty funny bro. I think everyone of use who is serious about bb'ing and the whole lifestyle feels the same way you do. I mean you diet you feel like shit because you think your small. You bulk up you feel like crap because you think your bloated. Goin thru these mind games myself (which thru time started becoming a real sickness) i realized thats what it is. One day i looked in the mirror and realized that while im not Mr. Olympia im doing decent. That is not an excuse for geting complacent; but rather a reminder and warning from someone who has seen this image problem become unhealthy in his own life. Ussualy when you critique yourself like we do bro, that means your doing a good job! As far as your pics are concerned you are in better condition in the last ones. Pound for pound you have more good stuff on you, and in the end that is what its about. Moral of the story is; I dont think we will ever be happy with ourselves. That is perhaps what drives and motivates us to suceed in building our bodies past the norms of society, and much to the deep seated envy of the "main stream" .

Long story short is- Mofo its in your head! Keep on pumpin cause your doing great so far!

[P4D2A022]

look good bro!

[alphaGeek]

The muscle looks much harder and you are certainly leaner. Good job...

I hope that I look that good after I've been working that long.

Good job bro...

-aG