Former Chief of Police's view on Bond's

[archive_Ulter]

The urine police

Joseph D. McNamara
Thursday, April 15, 2004



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I've been a police officer most of my life and a Giants baseball fan even longer. Growing up in New York City, I sat in the bleachers and watched Willie Mays do his magic. For both of those reasons, I am dismayed to see that home-run king Barry Bonds' personal trainer has been charged with illegal-drug distribution, adding fuel to the rumors that Bonds has used anabolic steroids to bulk up his already muscular frame.

There are plenty of other bigger and stronger guys than Bonds who could spend a lifetime at home plate without ever banging a home run into San Francisco Bay. Bonds' incredible home-run hitting and athletic ability comes from his extraordinarily keen eyesight, superb reflexes, sense of balance, knowledge of the game and brain wiring that we can only guess at.

So the question is: Would we have unleashed the urine police, federal agents, prosecutors and a grand jury if a jock had been suspected of taking drugs to enhance his eyesight or other mental and physical abilities possessed by great athletes? The muddled answer that we get from the mother of all nannies, the Food and Drug Administration, is that anabolic steroids, synthetic versions of male hormone testosterone, may, in future years, be shown to be dangerous to health and should be "nipped in the bud."

Really? My cardiologist tells me that aspirin could be fatal for me, as it is for thousands of Americans, because it conflicts with other medications. If we're worrying about danger, shouldn't we also be outlawing skateboarding, surfing, downhill skiing, horseback riding, mountain climbing, skydiving, ice cream, chocolate and bacon cheeseburgers? There is no conclusive scientific proof that these particular steroids have killed or caused serious illnesses. The standard warnings on prescription and over-the-counter medicines are similar to the mumbo jumbo about steroids from the FDA. Indeed, the absence of class-action lawsuits suggests that the ever-alert class-action lawyers haven't even discovered this health crisis.

Nor do the nebulous claims from establishment guardians of virtuosity in youthful athletes that we must have a "level playing field" for all make sense. I have news for them. When Bonds and his fellow greats were born, only a handful of other humans were on a level playing field with them.

I'm no advocate for testosterone or other diet supplements. In fact, a couple of times a week, my senior-men's doubles group watches in envy as the slender youngsters on Stanford's women's tennis team hit balls 50 mph faster than we bulked men can. Their superior timing, technique and training would drive us off the court in five minutes.

As someone who spent most of his life as a police officer, I think the government should be spending its resources and our money finding bin Laden and destroying al Qaeda, instead of launching investigations into which jocks are using molecules determined to be immoral by the federal government.

Joseph D. McNamara, formerly the chief of police of San Jose, is a research fellow at the Hoover Institution.


©2004 San Francisco Chronicle

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school." -Albert Einstein

[Monster]

A single tear is rolling down my cheek.
That is a wonderful, wonderful man.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="**-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
...the absence of class-action lawsuits suggests that the ever-alert class-action lawyers haven't even discovered this health crisis.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Christ. If that doesnt sum it all up in one sentance, what does? In this litigous society, SOMEONE would have sued over testosterone by now...

-------------------------
Monsterland Is (NOT)Open Again!!! (dont say you werent warned...)

"Trying is the first step towards failure."
"Well, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is... never try."

[Monster]

Im now looking for people to join me in my class action lawsuit against the manufacturers of injectable testosterone preperations. The suit will be for....

Ten Million Dollars! *Im doing the Doctor Evil pinky to mouth thing...*

Im suing on the grounds that injecting their products has caused me to suffer from enhanced muscularity, increased libido, unrivaled sexual prowess, greater self-esteem and all around confidence. The stuff HAS TO GO!

That way we can all save our money for alcohol and experiance temporary inflated self-esteem, erectile disfunction, "beer" muscles, distorted reality and eventually cirrhosis of the liver. Alcohol must be safe, its legal isnt it.

So sign on now so we can tell the public how testosterone ruined our lives.


Class-Action Suit Disclaimer

This suit is provided on an "as available and as is" basis. There is no warranty whatsoever of any kind, express or implied regarding the content of this lawsuit. Thus, by participating in this it is understood and accepted there is no warranty of accuracy, of fitness for intended use, or merchantability. It is also understood that all referance to any other other legal, educational, news, government or private counsel, the author of this suit has no control or supervisory authority and cannot be held responsible for the inflated nature of his claims. Be duely informed that the author of this suit will, in all liklyhood, keep the entire settlement himself and laugh at everyone who was foolish enough to participate with the author, who is a known swindler and neer-do-well.

-------------------------
Monsterland Is (NOT)Open Again!!! (dont say you werent warned...)

"Trying is the first step towards failure."
"Well, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is... never try."

[Maverik]

Focking great article! If only more people had the balls that this man has.

[GymRatNYC]

I hope ESPN or any other Disney-esque organization doesn't read that -- it'll be ripped to shreads with unfounded "proof" that these products KILL!

[archive_Bjaarki]

Many thanks for finding that one for us, boss. It's great to listen to a congenial voice for a change.

I'm not surprised that it's a cop who's voicing those seditious views. Police officers are an occupational group with one of the highest rates of anabolic use, perhaps higher even than professional athletes. It's hard to know because, seeing how it's a felony to shoot gear, most cops won't talk about it. But it's there, alright. Just look around. It's another of those delicious ironies that surround our chosen lifestyle, our little criminal conspiracy: That one of the main players in it is the law enforcement community.

It would be a treat to see John Ashcroft deal with that one at a Q&A someday, wouldn't it?

"Uh, Mr. Attorney General ... If steroid users constitute the lowest class of depraved cheating too-stupid-to-live criminals ... um ... why is that they include so goddamn many COPS? Hmmm? Why is that, Mr. Attorney General?"

If I ever purchase a false ID, it will be one that identifies me as a member of the press so I can ask that asshole exactly that question.

Bjaarki

... Then, do what you have to do.

[archive_MR. BMJ]

LOL @ MONSTER and BJAARKI...

Holy crap, this is just an awesome read. It's nice to see somebody, specifically somebody who was a member of the law, write something with 100% truth to it and no bullshit lies. Totally refreshing.

When I was reading this, I keeped waiting for it to take a turn for the bad, but the man came through to the end 100%.

Man...i'm flabbergasted.

BMJ

[CanonOfMan]

Bjaarki, you better hurry with that fake ID for a press pass, Ashcroft's days are numbered, unless Kerry commits the unthinkable and keeps him around.

[Monster]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="**-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CanonOfMan:
Bjaarki, you better hurry with that fake ID for a press pass, Ashcroft's days are numbered, unless Kerry commits the unthinkable and keeps him around.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Doesnt Kerry look like the type who would start (or HAS already started??) HRT?

Ahhh, wouldnt that be great... the president uses steroids... He could appoint Ulter to speaker of the house, Bjarrki as minister of education, Decaman could head up the AARP (if he deosnt already) and I would be the new Drug Czar.
All steroid shipments would be routed through my office where they would be inspected and have 5% of the content removed for my "personal inspection at a later date".

Democracy at its Finest.

-------------------------
Monsterland Is (NOT)Open Again!!! (dont say you werent warned...)

"Trying is the first step towards failure."
"Well, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is... never try."

[archive_Nate]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="**-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ulter:
Nor do the nebulous claims from establishment guardians of virtuosity in youthful athletes that we must have a "level playing field" for all make sense. I have news for them. When Bonds and his fellow greats were born, only a handful of other humans were on a level playing field with them. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

my favorite.

[archive_Ulter]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="**-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nate:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="**-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ulter:
Nor do the nebulous claims from establishment guardians of virtuosity in youthful athletes that we must have a "level playing field" for all make sense. I have news for them. When Bonds and his fellow greats were born, only a handful of other humans were on a level playing field with them. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

my favorite.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's a great quote.

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school." -Albert Einstein

[ben hart]

I read that in my morning paper(Bay Area Bro). A lot of hypocrites in this state,in charge of shit,but don't get me started!