joke for the day 3

bigsix · 03-04-2008, 06:24 AM

Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from her purse, cuts the edge off and puts it over the cigarette. Her friend asks her: "What are you doing?" So she replies: "I don't want my cigarette to get wet so I covered it with a condom."

Her friend asks: "Where did you get it?"

"At the pharmacy," she replies.

The next day her friend goes to the pharmacy and asks the clerk if she can get a condom. The clerk asks: "What size?"

So she replies: "I dunno. One that will fit a camel"

Blut Wump · 03-04-2008, 06:37 AM

Three blondes walk into a bank. The manager says to his secretary, "You'd have thought that at least one of them would have seen it".

WonderWoman · 03-04-2008, 06:48 AM

A Colombian, a Mexican and a Cuban went to their Citizenship Interview at Immigration in Miami, FL.

Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: Green, Pink and Yellow.

The Colombian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a wonderful pink day."

The Mexican was next: “I wake up in the morning. I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV."

Last was the Cuban: "Oyeme Chico, I wake up in the morning. And I hear the phone green... green... and I pink up the phone and I Say "Yellow?"

bwahahahahahaha - WW doesn't have that bad of an accent, hehe!

LanT · 03-04-2008, 08:30 AM

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for
his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in
price, the more sheer, the higher the price.

Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it
home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and
model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as
well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return
it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself."

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron
it!"

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.

03-04-2008, 06:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
bigsix Gold Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: TX Posts: 1,037 Rep Power: 59178	joke for the day 3 Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from her purse, cuts the edge off and puts it over the cigarette. Her friend asks her: "What are you doing?" So she replies: "I don't want my cigarette to get wet so I covered it with a condom." Her friend asks: "Where did you get it?" "At the pharmacy," she replies. The next day her friend goes to the pharmacy and asks the clerk if she can get a condom. The clerk asks: "What size?" So she replies: "I dunno. One that will fit a camel"

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Helpful links suggested by members
ResearchStop	Research Chemicals
Cycles for Pennies a day by DC	The original thread by Dogg Crapp aka Dante
Pubmed	National Institute of Health Public Library.
Real Sports Report on Steroids	The truth about steroids that only HBO would present. MP4 Large file. Use Real Player
Merck Medical Manual	Merck manual of medical information
AAS: Mechanism of Action and Effects on Performance	Encyclopedia of Sports Medicine and Science California State Univ. Explanation of AAS effects on athletes
Carlorie King	The world's largest food database
ExRx Exercise and Muscle Directory	Exercises by muscle parts and vice versa. Includes video of popular exercises.
Wholesale Hair Products	Nizoral and other hair products
USDA National Nutrient Database	The nutritional value of all foods.
Fitday.com	Detailed Nutrition for 1,000's of foods with macro breakdowns
List of brand names for drugs	What various drugs are called by name brands around the world.
Getpinz.com	Medical and lab supplies
Health Tests Direct	Blood tests by mail without a prescription

03-04-2008, 06:37 AM	#2 (permalink)
Blut Wump The Venerable Wump Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: UK Posts: 7,883 Rep Power: 613806	Three blondes walk into a bank. The manager says to his secretary, "You'd have thought that at least one of them would have seen it".

03-04-2008, 06:48 AM	#3 (permalink)
WonderWoman 36 days, 13 hours, 49 min Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Mr.Meat's heart Posts: 4,571 Rep Power: 824454	A Colombian, a Mexican and a Cuban went to their Citizenship Interview at Immigration in Miami, FL. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: Green, Pink and Yellow. The Colombian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a wonderful pink day." The Mexican was next: “I wake up in the morning. I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV." Last was the Cuban: "Oyeme Chico, I wake up in the morning. And I hear the phone green... green... and I pink up the phone and I Say "Yellow?" bwahahahahahaha - WW doesn't have that bad of an accent, hehe!

03-04-2008, 08:30 AM	#4 (permalink)
LanT On the AFBoard Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: NE Posts: 1,189 Rep Power: 12115	A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself." So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!" He never heard the shot. Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.