Wouldn't it be nice if....

[bigdamray]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT GOES TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe China

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations wit h France , Germany , and Russia Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mess amiss.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on Lis t 2 President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn too-tin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America!!! Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's get this to every USA computer!)

[Hidngod]

Most of it's pretty funny and would be a welcome speach. As a Canadian though, I don't find that part funny. While we don't always agree with your policies most people here are big supporters of the U.S.. A lot of Canadians serve in the U.S. military, and we have soldiers dying in Afghanistan now, alongside your own.

[DrewDog]

then we Canadians will tune into our local smoke signals to see that our PM has responded thusly....

Dear America,

One place we won't be seeing eachother anymore is Afghanistan. Enjoy.

Can't forget the oil pumps too. The oil we sell to you will now be sold to the Chinese. Hope your buddies in United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia and Poland can make up for it with their huge oil reserves.

[bigdamray]

Sorry bro's, I didn't post it to make Canada look bad or anything. I didn't agree with everything in it but I thought it was humorous.

[midlifecrisis]

fuck canada




































j/k LOL !

[DrewDog]

Originally Posted by bigdamray

Sorry bro's, I didn't post it to make Canada look bad or anything. I didn't agree with everything in it but I thought it was humorous.

no worries big guy:

I drive along the stretch of highway every one of the bodies of our fallen soldiers travel on their trip home (recently renamed the Highway of Heroes) and have seen a couple of the processions so I'm just a little sensitive to that issue.

[Hidngod]

I realize, compared to our southern bretheren our contribution to Afghanistan, etc is small, but it is meaningful.
Afghanistan is the first combat mission undertaken by Canada since Korea. The feedback has resulted in a lot of changes in military doctrine & material aquisitions. The mission has also renewed our sense of pride in our military, with a better understanding of what they face, by the civilians.
Realistically, most of the other issues between us are economical, and most of that is felt here, rather than there, due to the disparity in our economies. For the most part, Canadians have the same concerns with finances, security, education, immigration & leagalized pot, that Americans do. Some Canadians do have a jealous/envious little brother attitude towards the U.S..

[Bjaarki]

Yep. My way or the highway. Diplomacy, Texas-style.

Niiiiiiiiiiiiice .............

[solidspine]

It would be a nice start, and Canada is one of my favorite states.

[Hidngod]

Originally Posted by solidspine

It would be a nice start, and Canada is one of my favorite states.

I agree. Canada = Euphoria. It's a fine state to be in.