Help, I'm going insane.

[Tweak]

A friend of mine is seriously ANGERING me.

She's eating 800-900 calories a day. That's it. She will only eat like, a nutragrain bar and half of some kind of McDonald's sandwich a day. That's it. She claims it's cuz she's never hungry.

She joined the gym last night and told me that this morning, and then said she was scared to work out because she knew that meant she needs to eat more.

She's 5'4 and 120 right now, she wants to be 110. She weighed 145 in January.

I've told her that her body is feeding off her lean mass and that she needs to eat a lot more. I've pointed to my own results and asked her how she thinks I've dropped so fast-- from not eating or eating more? I've explained a lot of the science to her-- she just kind of ignores me. She's been perpetually sick since she started this "diet" (GO FIGURE) and she's SWEARING she feels healthy on it. I said she's just starving herself and she's doing more damage to her body than good. It doesn't register.

A huge problem with her is, she wants the results without the work. She has a tendency to throw pity parties for herself and gives up on workout routines after about a week. It's very irritating for me.

What else should I tell her?

[bigdamray]

Don't let what other people do or say affect your happiness. Just let it go and appreciate that you can both have your own opinions, beliefs and experiences. When or if she is ready, she will ask you to help her.

[strawberryriddick]

Originally Posted by Tweak

A huge problem with her is, she wants the results without the work. She has a tendency to throw pity parties for herself and gives up on workout routines after about a week. It's very irritating for me.

What else should I tell her?

That's your answer. She wants it without working, so explaining things like "Here's how I do it, which involves work," won't convince her.

You need to go Hannibal Lecter on her ass. That's how I do it. Get the person to believe that their ideas are stupid and your ideas are great. And your ideas are great because your ideas aren't ideas, but hard facts.

You said she didn't want to work out because she'd have to eat more. Eating more means that she's going to put on nasty fat in her head. Ask her during one of her mini feasts, "If you could eat anything and not get fat, would you?"

She'll most likely say yes, unless she's convinced herself food = devil. If she says yes, explain the advantage of working out. This is the same thing I tell people who want to lose weight that are already overweight.

Another way is to read a muscle mag around her, preferably one with Figure models in there, or disguise it as a forward and shoot her an email. Pretend it's from a guy...hell, go all out and make it seem like this Fwd has been everywhere, make up a bunch of email addresses that it was sent to, starting off with a guy (or gal if she's a lesbian), and send it to a few fake email addresses yourself, along with hers. You want to find the most gorgeous figure models you can, and make sure they're on the thinner side. Remember: she wants to be thin, and now you can explain that she can...as well as look sexy.

I mean, compare these:


Women who lose weight like she does not only lose their breasts and butt, but also aren't toned at all. Check out the pic on the right, Nicole Richie's super-skinny body STILL sags because she doesn't have muscle to back it up:




You can explain how her negative actions (restrictive eating) will benefit her because she'll be able to feed her body to the max while curbing her cravings for max benefit.

When talking to someone who's doing this for "good looks" at the price of their health, you need to mention the negative visuals she'll get. Thinner faces can age you (just saw an Extreme Makeover where they injected fat into the guy's face to make him look younger), and not nourishing your body means your skin, hair, and nails become crappier. Your hair and nails become brittle, and your skin get dry and discolored. None of that sounds hot to me!


"Anorexia can cause dry, flaky skin that takes on a yellow tinge. Fine, downy hair grows on the face, back, arms, and legs. Despite this new hair growth, loss of hair on the head is not uncommon. Nails can become brittle. Frequent vomiting can erode dental enamel and eventually lead to tooth loss."
Anorexia Nervosa Symptoms, Signs, Causes, Diagnosis and Treatment by MedicineNet.com

So, sallow flaky skin with dry patches that bleed...thin hair growing everywhere, including your FACE while the hair on your head falls out...brittle nails...toothless...yeah, TOTAL BABE.

	ASS Nelson Montana

[Tweak]

Btw-- she's losing her hair!

also lol @ Hannibal Lectering her.

Seriously, she just makes excuses and doesn't care. She attempted to eat clean for about 2 weeks last year and then was like THIS IS HARD and went back to junk food.

[Ulter]

As I've learned over and over again, you can't help those people. Let it go.
Remember back to January 2006. You came to me and said, "I have this friend who needs help losing weight. She's really into weight watchers but she's been at the same weight for 2 years after losing 80 pounds. She's really smart. Would you help her?"
I said, "it depends on how dedicated she is to doing what I tell her. I only take on 3 people a year, which I have already, and I don't have time for people set in their ways, doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.".
Of course you insisted that your friend was smart and would listen to reason if I explained the science of it. But my first objection should be your first objection.
Sometimes you can get through, sometimes you can't. You have to know when to walk away.
I told your friend the first night I talked to her that she had to get up and do morning cardio before work, TOMORROW. She said, "that means getting up at 4am". I said, "do you want to do this or not?" She got miffed but she got up and did it. Those are the ones you want to help.

[Lumberjack5.0]

Originally Posted by Ulter

As I've learned over and over again, you can't help those people. Let it go.

I'm a recovering alcoholic, and this is true. There were plenty of times I should have quit, and knew I should have. But it didn't matter at all until I was ready to do it for my own reasons.

There's def a parallel here IMO. Be kind, be helpful when she asks, and be a good example. But as hard as it may be try not to 'fix' her yourself b/c it's an exercise in futility if she's not in the state of being to accept help.

[Spectre]

She may have a mental condition that needs to addressed first hun... She may need some help but it's even tougher to convince someone they need to seek it out.. Been there, doing it.. My GF is 5'11 and a lil over 90lbs, maybe.

[Tweak]

She has a lot of mental issues. But she wears them like a badge of honor because she loves being the victim. She likes drama, she likes whining, she likes feeling sorry for herself.

Ulter-- that friend you're referring to it the ONE person I've brought to you and they've stuck with it! My other two fell off the map!

[booey]

Just to echo what others have said - you've done all you're pretty much expected to do. She'll only understand when she's ready to understand. Don't force someone who's not ready, cus it won't work. Plus, think about you're own health - why would you let her actions anger you? It's her body/life. Your intentions are great but don't let it affect you.

[Tweak]

I have a tendency to take on everyone else's problems. lol

[Lumberjack5.0]

Originally Posted by Tweak

I have a tendency to take on everyone else's problems. lol

You can have my credit card debt and turrette's syndrome if you want.

[Tweak]

Originally Posted by Lumberjack5.0

You can have my credit card debt and turrette's syndrome if you want.

LMAO

My own credit sucks enough, but thanks.

I'm excessively empathetic. It's sort of a character flaw I guess. YES

[bigsix]

Originally Posted by Tweak

LMAO

My own credit sucks enough, but thanks.

I'm excessively empathetic. It's sort of a character flaw I guess. YES

It's not a flaw. Seems like your just a very good hearted person that wants to help your friends. Nothing wrong in that. Unfortunately all you can do is what it sounds like you've done. Educate your friend and hope she can take that first step on her own. Thats the only way she will stick with it. Let her see your hard work and great progress and surely she will follow suit.

[Velenka]

Originally Posted by Tweak

also lol @ Hannibal Lectering her.

LOL. Hannibal Lecture.

If your friend is willing to listen, tell her to read Skwigg's Story.

[strawberryriddick]

Originally Posted by Tweak

She has a lot of mental issues. But she wears them like a badge of honor because she loves being the victim. She likes drama, she likes whining, she likes feeling sorry for herself.

Aww, babe, now I know it's a lost cause. If you don't want to just drop it, give my suggestions a shot. Otherwise, listen to everyone else here